A Bright Kid, An Unethical Shrink and a lot of quotation marks.

“At what point do you decide to burn all bridges and look forward? ”
“When what’s in front of you is way better than what’s behind you. Which is most often than not.”
“What if what’s behind you is paradise?  Like the best you can ever imagine.  And what if you move forward and all you see is a mirage?  How do you avoid the regret?”
“Now if you’re considering avoiding regret then my best bet is that you might have never had that beautiful thing now behind you. Good things don’t come to those who wait, but those who try.”
“Like most things in life I’m guessing there’s no easy way out? I either stop being a fucking coward and look forward with the promise of better lighting up my eyes.  Or look back and stay in the comfort that has become uncomfortable, and where the anxiety of not knowing if I could have better on my face.”
“I’ve always told you kid, trust yourself no matter what.”
“I think I’m ready to look forward.  When I began our sessions,  I resolved to stop being a coward and try new things. So far it has been fucking awesome. ”
“Yea we have ourselves to thank for that. No one else.”

—
In my mind palace, I have a section which shares the same title as this post. The above is today’s entry. 

Waves

Wish it was easy
Lift my head and breathe easy
Spill my heart and not sound cheesy.
Lift my spirit and put my heart down.
Rule myself without a crown.
Swim Good and not drown.
Its all in the ocean
Rocking steady, obeying the motion
But coming back home to kiss the sand.
Drenched in joy to feel her hand.
Wish it was easy
But life just tease me.
Cos she can’t please me
I just have to be me.
I am really just free
Its all in the ocean I see.

Sunset Walks

We are led to believe that education is like a slots machine. Just flip the lever and you might win. It is after you’ve taken you seat in the casino that you realise it’s not so. With education, especially the higher levels, you have to know how the system works to stand a chance of winning. You’re told to go to school for an education you can’t afford. The if you’re lucky or smart, you get a job and keep paying those who told you to go to school. Because it is the “most necessary” thing in life. If you’re not lucky, you can’t go to school or you can’t get a job, you keep on paying for an education you never really chose for yourself. Then you wanna do what you’re born to do. You wanna die. Before you’re even aware your life is just another statistic. A thirty five point whatever ever chance of surviving.

I think Ghanaians just love mediocrity so much. Subconsciously, it has become part of the hard wiring of our society. We get treated like shit, and because of our inferiority complex we accept the peanut compensation which we actually don’t deserve but we are entitled to. Know your worth, please. We pay our taxes, stay peaceful and all that our bullshit that looks good. Rather than been rewarded, we don’t even get what we deserve. Instead we are deprived of our basic amenities. Water that Allah has given free is now a luxury. How can I do my part and don’t give me what I deserve? Rather they wait, for God knows what, a half solve the problem. But because I am so used to being treated like shit, I appreciate this half rather than agitation for full. Till the cycle repeats itself. We need more of the Oliver Twist complex. Demand what is yours. Two things. Instead of running away or constantly complaining, think of a way. So that when you don’t get what’s yours, you find a way to make yours.

I think we’re getting somewhere as a people, no matter how slow. The problem is that not to many actually care about the “People “. The just really care about “themselves”. But that’s a topic for later.

Blessed is the woman, interested in both sides of the conversation.

Tonic for Tired Eyes

No light in my eyes,  I’m burning up
Blinded by the evil and the lies I’m turning up
She don’t want me to see behind her clothes
Forgetting I’m staring right up her toes.

—

This poem was inspired by a painting I did. A self portrait.  It was also inspired by darkness (in the most Ghanaian understanding of the word ).

My self portrait - Acrylic on Cardboard.