The Web Chronicles

Re-write a classical fairy tale.
[Osibisa x Seaside-Meditation]

In the land where the sun and the moon agreed to share the sky, lived a peculiar creature called Ananse. He was not especially special, apart from his oblong head and legendary deeds. Ananse tried to live an ordinary life, but the gods destined for him to be remembered in story for ages to come. He tried to talk them out of it, but it ended in him being cursed with not so smart children. I heard the market women gossiping that it was because he tried to bribe them with faster internet speeds. Ananse thought he was so smart.  So now, the gods had left with five kids who could not peel a banana or sharpen a pencil.
Ananse became suicidal after a day with the kids. Manama, the youngest, and wandered into the palace and turned the immaculate powerhouse of the state in to a pigsty, annihilating the status quo. He had escaped execution only because he was a child of the gods and the luminescent joy in the eyes one could not help but admire. Even the scary executioner, clad in talismans, leaves, acre long longs and the sullen ambiance of death, could not perceive laying a finger on this cute child.
The leaves fell, but the kids did not get wiser. Every day someone was at Ananse’s threshold, complaining vehemently about his uncanny kids.  Their inspiring stubbornness and sheer brilliance in the art of mischief almost drove him to madness. It was in this limbo that he conceived the plan to free himself from the wrathful curse of the just gods. It is accurate to say that the human mind, when pushed to its limits births absolute fascination. However, it is not clear whether Ananse was human or not.
Ananse decided to create a surrogate father based on artificial intelligence to enable him to run away from his menacing kids whilst the all-knowing gods think he is still there. He was in awe of the brilliance of his immaculate plan and worked tirelessly to create The Krumatron 1000. His creation was near perfect, an exact replication of himself. The gods were about to be fooled. It made no sense that his ingenious plan should work. Ananse did not know too much about robotics also, his pathological laziness would not have allowed him to learn enough. It was all but destined to end in more curses.
One night, he packed his stuff and launched the Krumatron 1000. He had planned to spend the rest of his life on the beautiful white sand beaches of the Maldives, sipping the finest wines. However, the just gods could not allow Ananse to escape his punishment. The operated strictly on the principle of punishment and reward, something Ananse toiled to circumvent. The Krumatron had worked perfectly for the first few hours. Ananse observed with keen interest as his brainchild woke the not so smart kids up and prepared them for school. It brought tears to his eyes. It felt too good to be true. Then the power went out. Ananse anticipate this eventuality and had a redundancy ready to take the place of The Krumatron 1000 anytime it lost power. He had every possible twist covered.
Pleased with the initially observation of his well thought through plan. Ananse left for the Maldives, brimming with joy. He had triumphed over the gods. He spent the rest of his life surfing all day and partying all night. Ananse was forever remembered in story as the only creature to escape the just gods’ punishment. Again, it was rumoured by the market woman that it was because the gods could not swim to the Maldives. Such Lazy gods!


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