The Green Eyed Monster

[Gloria Estefan x Reach]

The idea of jealousy or envy is embedded in the basic coding of humans. The green eyed monster, as we grow creeps up from under the bed and lives with us. The more the world reveals itself to us the more we begin to envy. But wait who or what is worthy of my envy?

The first person or category of people who came to mind is The Creators. The Jayzs, Nas’, Drakes, J. Coles, Mr. Brainwashs, Tarantinos, Scorseses,  Khaled Housenis, Lauryn Hills et al. The people who painstakingly bring out the content of their minds for the whole world to accept and respect. The people who worked hard to keep us entertained. The people who turn experiences into franchises. The people who influenced generations. What is there not to envy about people like this? They were doing everything I had envisioned myself doing. They were highly skilled at their crafts. Most importantly they knew how to bring their thoughts to life; a lot of people can’t do and that is something I respect in the creators. It’s a typical adolescent/teenager complex to envy someone you see on the television and the internet “making it’. But I never envied JayZ or Nas and I still don’t. I just respect and admire the fact that they are able to make something out of nothing, move themselves from one point to another in life through sheer will power, determination and hard work. But I didn’t envy them

In my quest to find out who I envied, I began to discover problems in envying of a man. Mere mortals with crimson fluids emerging from our wounds. My problem with envying a person was that they are their own worst enemies. The same legends that inspire generations could and have ended up doing the same things they preached against. Men whom were capable of my envy could not outlive themselves. Even the canonized ones. The real thing I could ever be capable of envy was an idea, a belief, a theory. Something intangible but absolutely powerful, depending of its level of penetration into human society and culture. Man is born to die, ironically. But ideas, beliefs, theories are able to achieve eternal life. That to me is something worth being jealous of. Something I’d give my mind for. No man can have the impact religion or war or love or freedom or power has had on mankind. Now this is something I envy. Dominion over all of mankind even after I have existed or without ever being present.

Per the parameters of my writing challenge I cannot envy any other thing but a person. So apart from an idea a belief a theory, the person I envy has to be myself. Who else knows me more than me to want to envy me? Call that egotistic, but it remains the truth. 

 

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